That Thing I Said I Wouldn’t Ever Do? Yeah – I’m Doing It…

It’s official – I’m starting my transition from military kid to military wife. I’m excited, and thrilled and anxious… And, terrified.

There are so many what-if’s that come with this plan. What if he gets injured in training? What if he and I can’t get married until later than we are planning? What if it has to happen months before? (Both are very real possibilities – the joys of planning around a military schedule!) What if he and I start fighting the minute he has to start getting ready for shook? What if he gets deployed? (Although that’s really a “when will” question, not what if.)

Im going to say it – I’m a lot scared. And it doesn’t necessarily help that the answer to almost all of those questions is something along the lines of “soldier on” – keep pushing forward and adapt to your circumstances.

This is where we have to face the reality that it won’t always be the movie style romance – the jumping into his arms in the airport, wearing his dog tags, heart all a flutter every time he calls. It’s the time where we have to realize that it’s going to be a lot of nights spent apart. Dates over FaceTime. Departures, where we don’t know when the next time we wil talk is. Birthdays, anniversaries, and eventual bed and bath times with kids on my own. We have to face the fact that it’s not nearly as romantic as it sounds. And that it’s going to be harder than we think it wil be.

Through out all of this, the process of planning, I’m already learning some life lessons that are going to be completely invaluable for the next few years. Flexibility, determination, and trusting that J knows what he’s doing when it comes to leading us, and handling the tasks that I need him to. It’s been a challenge.

Honestly though, we’ve gotten to have the most amazing conversations and are already seeing the difference in our relationship since this whole thing has gotten started.

I’m going to say that my goal is to continue to write about these things, and process through here. But, it’s going to be sporadic. And sometimes completely composd of “wow I am so frustrated with the military” during the times he can’t be reached. But it’s absolutely my plan to be very intentional with this – because let’s be real, if I don’t have some way to unload, I will go insane 😉   

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